New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize