I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
