so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
