she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
