she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
