Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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