I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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