Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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