Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
