oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
