something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize