They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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