If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
