I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
