Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
