Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
