It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
