I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
