dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
