I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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