I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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