This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
