anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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