Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
