69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Watching her eat just hurts me
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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