By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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