Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
