Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
