So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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