somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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