alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
