i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
