I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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