Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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