I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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