it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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