My first STD was from a foam party
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
