Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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