If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
