I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
