We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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