she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I lost the right to judge tonight
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize