Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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