3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
