i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
