new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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