omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize
