Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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