If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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