ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
