Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
