Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
