I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize