i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
