Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
