So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
