Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
worst night to have a conscience
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
