the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize