Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
