So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
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