this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
