Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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