Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
