Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
