The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
