This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
