Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
