im drinking this country out of the recession.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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