My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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