Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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