I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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