Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't deserve a penis
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
