Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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