you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize