he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
