Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
