Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just invented taco cereal.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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