I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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