I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
