Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize