I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
